Yesterday, my fiancee called me around 1:45pm in the office. She mentioned that she was about to take a shower and go home. I was suprised because the last time we discussed her schedule, she was supposed to go home later in the afternoon. She was telling me about her toxic experience the night before. I just listened. For no apparent reason, she asked, "so what are your plans tonight?" I told her that I am meeting my parents and my sister in Ayala Center and treat them out. She knew about this earlier this week, so it wasn't a big deal for me repeating it again.
And this is when the monthly battle begun.
Warning shot! She asked me why I didn't ask her to join since she's leaving earlier than expected. She explained that the reason why she called, she was expecting me to ask her to join the family day.
Incoming!!! Take cover! I explained that there's no way for me to know that she's leaving early. In any case, I asked her to join us. She could join us anytime. She started whining how insensitive I was and this wasn't the first time that I didn't ask her out without her informing me first that she's available. And everytime I explained that there's no way for me to know her schedule, she would insist that I should know.
It's not over yet, there's always a second wave attack!! She started calling me names that came from nowhere! For some reason, she just made me the worst and most insensitive man in the world! And this time, I didn't have anything to say. I was trying to figure out where the outburst came from! Before she hanged up, she called me the worst name that I could hear from somebody very close to me.
Recovery!! Take everything that is left! Prepare for another assault! After she hanged up, I was amazed. It was a very deliberate conversation. It seems to me that it was completely planned before she called. There must be wrong, so I thought.
When I was about to leave the office, I tried calling her several times. She didn't answer. When I was near Ayala Center, I called again. This time she answered. Her tone was different now, but still trying to sound angry.
Enemy on sight!! She tried again the same thing - that I wasn't sensitive and I wasn't really planning of asking her to join our family date. She went on for another 60 seconds or so. I just let her be.
Counter-Attack!!! "Are you having your period again? It's just the right time for your period." That's the statement that come out from my mouth. She denied at first. But this time, she toned down. So I asked her if I have to bear this kind of conversation with her on a monthly basis. She was trying to dodge the question, I didn't give her a chance.
Go for the kill!!! Her phone is defective, the line was full of static. I told her that I want to hang up since I am racking up airtime minutes but I am not getting any good conversation due to the line quality. And the line went silent, no static, no interference. She said, "no! Not yet! I still want to talk to you!" I said, paghuna ko habo mo makiisturyahan sa akun? She laughed... So I asked her again if we are going to do this exercise every month. She replied, mayad ngani mabuut ka. It wasn't the answer I was looking for so I asked her again with the same question.
Dili man.. Ikaw pano! And she apologized. I replied back, nag-sorry ka na pero bagan next month ma-sorry ka na naman. Bagan habang buhay ini na may monthly encounter kita!
Before we hanged up, I was already teasing her. She was very apologetic and embarrassed (she doesn't want to hear her bloopers all over again). Oh well, I had a good laugh afterwards.
DISCLAIMER: This tactic is not applicable when the argument has nothing to do with the female's monthly event. When that happens, simply stand there and take the hit. You can run, but you can never hide against the wrath of the female species!
1 comment:
the main problem with the male species is that they equate everything on battle terms. relationships are unchartered territories, friends are allies, enemies are targets and everything else take on a different meaning.
take this article as a classic example. had the relationship been between two females, there wouldn't be an argument in the first place.this is because females ask questions that do not necessarily require straight answers but are actually alluding to something else.
the question " what are your plans tonight?" should therefore be examined in two terms. first the recipient is aware that the person asking is free for the moment, hence it should be perceived as " am i included in your plans tonight?" second, never pressume that just because a person has prior knowledge of laid up plans, she has already accepted it as is.changes is afterall one of the favorite vocabulary terms of a female.
pms is a horrible thing, i should know, but it doesn't necessarily turn us into irrational creatures who lash out to anyone in our path. this is simply a time when we need our space, but necesarily be excluded from things which we deem important. in girl lingo, pms means : tread carefully, my man.
men are not really insensitive brutes. its just that the male head is often filled with a lot of things that are far connected from anything emotional. females for that matter also have a lot on their minds but whenever something emotionally-connected comes up, everything else takes second place.
now, at the risk of sounding something straight from lovingly yours, i guess the point is, for all guys out there who are planning to take a leap into turbulent waters known as marriage, the secret is simple: think like a female, be a female, (without the stillettos please).
throw out all preconceived notions on how mariages work etc. and try to look at everything from the point of view of a female before moving ahead. never assume that just because you remain silent when we rant and rave, that we think you're being understanding and patient. silence afterall can just be as hurtful as a mouthful of words.
with this in mind, the next time that phone rings and you know its her, answer that phone with a smile and say:" hey, i was just thinking about you." if this doesn't work, well... you're a guy. your head is filled with ideas, i'm sure you'll come up with something. :)
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